i found this recent article freeing: http://www.npr.org/2010/11/18/131424595/siblings-share-genes-but-rarely-personalities
it's about a study that showed that while siblings tend to share many physical characteristics and cognitive abilities due to genetic similarities, when it comes to personality, they are more different than anything else. here are a couple short excerpts:
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Then in the 1980s, a researcher named Robert Plomin published a surprising paper in which he reviewed the three main ways psychologists had studied siblings: physical characteristics, intelligence and personality. According to Plomin, in two of these areas, siblings were really quite similar.
Physically, siblings tended to differ somewhat, but they were a lot more similar on average when compared to children picked at random from the population. That's also true of cognitive abilities.
"The surprise," says Plomin, "is when you turn to personality."
Turns out that on tests that measure personality — stuff like how extroverted you are, how conscientious — siblings are practically like strangers.
"Children in the same family are more similar than children taken at random from the population," Plomin says, "but not much more."
In fact, in terms of personality, we are similar to our siblings only about 20 percent of the time. Given the fact that we share genes, homes, routines and parents, this makes no sense. What makes children in the same family so different?
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the article goes on to set up 3 different theories about why growing up in a shared environment actually causes siblings to be *different* rather than alike. if you are a geek like me, read it--it's fascinating to think about. best part of the whole thing is the last line:
"So, this Thursday as you eat your turkey, look across the table. There, you may see a brother, a sister, a step-sibling, a twin. And maybe they're your friend, and maybe they're your enemy, but one thing is for certain: Their very existence has had a profound influence on your life."
this gave me some peace, given that my general wellbeing from day to day seems to depend wholly on sibling dynamics. it was a gentle reminder that my kids will be different like night and day, and no one can expect distinct individuals that spend 90% of their time together to get along well all the time. it also shed some light and forgiveness on my relationship with my brother, and mike's with his brother. i like science.
11.30.2010
my new favorite store
mike and i actually got to take a date night in honor of his birthday a couple weeks ago by virtue of our old sitter, Allie. she's now a pharmacist completing a residency at methodist hospital and is uber busy, but she offered to come watch the boys so that we could get a night out. that was the most unbelievable (and unbelievably-needed) gift we could've gotten. it was the first meal we actually got to SIT DOWN all the way through in a month and a half (the apartment has only a small table that sits all 3 boys, so mike and i have stood and eaten 3 meals a day for over a month now). we went downtown to eat sushi at miyabi 9 in the east village area and had a lovely meal. the best part of the whole evening was that the night allie offered to baby-sit coincided with the annual holiday promenade in the east village area of downtown. so there were fireworks and all the shops were open until 9pm. it was like a dream; not only did we get to eat an adult meal, but we felt like we were actually out on a friday night, doing fun things in a hip area of town ;) all the shop owners were dressed in cocktail wear and had alcoholic beverages and incredible desserts to give out. it was like a multi-street grand opening celebration. i couldn't believe how many people were out and about that chilly night, not to mention how many had their young kids with them. it was so nice to NOT be toting strollers or babies in carriers that night.
wandering around downtown also allowed me the chance to see new shops that i didn't know existed, and i happened upon one that is now my favorite store. it's called allspice and sells flavored vinegars, infused olive oils, and a myriad of spices that was so incredible, it was mind boggling. they just opened, but their inventory was fabulous. the best part was that all the vinegars and olive oils were in giant jugs with spouts and you could sample them out of little cups. this was a foodie's dream. i sampled grapefruit white vinegar and porchini infused olive oil, as well as an 18-yr aged balsamic vinegar. i purchased a container of berebere spice (an african seasoning) that we enjoyed tonight on grilled chicken, and which i frequently relish as a seasoning to my nightly plate of nachos. they sell gift sets which i'm taking advantage of this holiday season for fellow foodies, boxed in sets called "cluck" (seasonings for cooking chicken), "splish" (for seafood), "oink," "moo," "salts of the earth" (did you know there is such a thing as hawaiian black rock salt?) and many others. i've got my eye on the chili collection. oh, this place is dangerous. i don't buy myself clothes or bags or music or toys...but i could spend a bundle on all things food-related. imagine how poor we are now that trader joes moved in down the street...
wandering around downtown also allowed me the chance to see new shops that i didn't know existed, and i happened upon one that is now my favorite store. it's called allspice and sells flavored vinegars, infused olive oils, and a myriad of spices that was so incredible, it was mind boggling. they just opened, but their inventory was fabulous. the best part was that all the vinegars and olive oils were in giant jugs with spouts and you could sample them out of little cups. this was a foodie's dream. i sampled grapefruit white vinegar and porchini infused olive oil, as well as an 18-yr aged balsamic vinegar. i purchased a container of berebere spice (an african seasoning) that we enjoyed tonight on grilled chicken, and which i frequently relish as a seasoning to my nightly plate of nachos. they sell gift sets which i'm taking advantage of this holiday season for fellow foodies, boxed in sets called "cluck" (seasonings for cooking chicken), "splish" (for seafood), "oink," "moo," "salts of the earth" (did you know there is such a thing as hawaiian black rock salt?) and many others. i've got my eye on the chili collection. oh, this place is dangerous. i don't buy myself clothes or bags or music or toys...but i could spend a bundle on all things food-related. imagine how poor we are now that trader joes moved in down the street...
enjoying the ride
we've been enjoying the ride of home building, though sometimes we get a little begrudged with the financial burden it imposes. (for example, $10,000 seems like a lot of money to cover all your flooring, but then you start picking it out, and wah la, it doesn't cover what you think it does when you are also paying labor costs!!) still, it's exciting to make choices and see them put into action. now that the days have been getting colder, we clamor for things to do outside the apartment. sometimes i get desparate enough that i throw the kiddos in the car and we go for a drive (usually with the intent to get 2 out of 3 to nap). our favorite place to drive is "by the new house," where jack and benjamin like to narrate what's being built at that moment. jack is always quite invested on whether or not the roof is being put up. i like to hear their funny comments, which usually reflect their process in coming to understand what this whole house thing means. the other day it was, "but where will we go potty and wash our hands?" it's been difficult for them to wrap their heads around the fact that this process takes time, and some things have to be built before others. but they enjoy going out and watching the workers, and seeing the geese on the pond. the other day we took coffee and breakfast sandwiches out to the guys working on a saturday morning to show our appreciation. they seemed skeptical, but took the food. i figured it can't hurt to speak a little spanish and say thanks to the men building our permanent home :)
it's been crazy to see how fast the framing can be done. we like to take occasional photos to document the construction. here are the latest:
from the back
according to mike, the windows are now sitting in the garage, awaiting installation. the boys will really like to see that happening :)
it's been crazy to see how fast the framing can be done. we like to take occasional photos to document the construction. here are the latest:
from the back
according to mike, the windows are now sitting in the garage, awaiting installation. the boys will really like to see that happening :)
11.24.2010
coming out of hiding
I thought I'd come out of hiding for a brief hello here on the blog :) The past month has been busy, but not too different from other months. Surprisingly, once we left the house, I stopped thinking about it and no more tears have been shed. I guess it was easier than I thought it would be. It also helps that we've gotten busy visiting vendors, picking out lights and paint colors and faucets.... fun stuff that has begun to make the new house feel like *our* house. The most fun thing of all was deciding to do geothermal heating and cooling for the house. It was a tough decision since it costs a lot up front, but making this decision was the first thing that actually made me feel excited about the new place. It feels like something we are doing because it reflects our philosophy and desire to do as many green things with this build as possible. We've continued this line of thinking with other choices (low flow toilets that use less water, corn-based carpet that cuts down on petroleum products in carpet production, etc.) It's getting a little more exciting every day :) Everyone told us this would be massively stressful, but so far it hasn't been. We really enjoy micromanaging the details (I guess this is a reflection of our personalities), so being able to be involved is fun for us. We aren't nitpicking too much, though. I can't afford to be driven crazy about saving $3 here and there on door knobs, etc. We're mostly going with it and trying to be both effecient and saavy.
So, it's coming along. We are waiting to hear back from the association dude to make sure our exterior paint choices are "acceptable." We picked out a rustic red color for the house, with cappucino and charcoal accents/trim. Red is a "nature color", as the covenants ask for, but we realized it's a bit out of the ordinary, so figured we'd better get it "okayed" first. This annoys me a lot. But what do you do.
Other than that, apartment living is going well. Very well, in fact. Our apartment's management is incredible--it sometimes feels like we are living in a hotel rather than paying rent. Their maintenance people respond to issues with lightning speed. The other day Benjamin slammed the front door through the wall. Oops, there goes the drywall. Great, probably the deposit with it.... I emailed them and they came to fix it right away. They said not to worry about it one bit, and they understand how kids are. Not only that, but they left a little message saying they had been here to fix it taped to a popcorn bag that said, "We just popped in to fix up!" Really??? My kids destroy your stuff, and you leave us a snack and friendly note? I went to ask a question of the office staff the other night and she said, "Here, take some pizza!" There were about 60 pizzas in the office area for "resident appreciation." She told me to just take a whole pizza for our family's dinner that night. Um, thanks! I'm not sure we'll want to leave even after the house is built :)
So, I think I'm behind on photos, so I'll end with a slightly out of order photo montage.
a long overdue halloween photo of spiderman, clifford the big red dog, and the blue crayon
before gav's first haircut
after first haircut
grandma suzi's birthday
Every morning Gav toddles out of our bedroom and heads straight for his brothers on the couch, where he cuddles for awhile
gav is starting to show more interest in solid foods, but still not a ton. thank goodness for nursing because i don't worry even a little about him getting enough nutrition since i know he's still getting the best from me :)
before the weather got COLD we enjoyed some great fall days at our local parks. i tried to take some photos of the boys at the beach, but was unable to capture 3 smiles at once. ah well, these probably capture their spirits better, anyway:
So, it's coming along. We are waiting to hear back from the association dude to make sure our exterior paint choices are "acceptable." We picked out a rustic red color for the house, with cappucino and charcoal accents/trim. Red is a "nature color", as the covenants ask for, but we realized it's a bit out of the ordinary, so figured we'd better get it "okayed" first. This annoys me a lot. But what do you do.
Other than that, apartment living is going well. Very well, in fact. Our apartment's management is incredible--it sometimes feels like we are living in a hotel rather than paying rent. Their maintenance people respond to issues with lightning speed. The other day Benjamin slammed the front door through the wall. Oops, there goes the drywall. Great, probably the deposit with it.... I emailed them and they came to fix it right away. They said not to worry about it one bit, and they understand how kids are. Not only that, but they left a little message saying they had been here to fix it taped to a popcorn bag that said, "We just popped in to fix up!" Really??? My kids destroy your stuff, and you leave us a snack and friendly note? I went to ask a question of the office staff the other night and she said, "Here, take some pizza!" There were about 60 pizzas in the office area for "resident appreciation." She told me to just take a whole pizza for our family's dinner that night. Um, thanks! I'm not sure we'll want to leave even after the house is built :)
So, I think I'm behind on photos, so I'll end with a slightly out of order photo montage.
a long overdue halloween photo of spiderman, clifford the big red dog, and the blue crayon
before gav's first haircut
after first haircut
grandma suzi's birthday
Every morning Gav toddles out of our bedroom and heads straight for his brothers on the couch, where he cuddles for awhile
gav is starting to show more interest in solid foods, but still not a ton. thank goodness for nursing because i don't worry even a little about him getting enough nutrition since i know he's still getting the best from me :)
before the weather got COLD we enjoyed some great fall days at our local parks. i tried to take some photos of the boys at the beach, but was unable to capture 3 smiles at once. ah well, these probably capture their spirits better, anyway:
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