35 & 35

on saturday i hit a mark in this pregnancy that i wasn't quite ready to hit: 35 weeks gestation, and 35 days till the due date. yeek! it was right about now (three years ago) that little jack came screeching into our lives, so unexpectedly early. i'll be holding my breath until september 12th: the day i hit 37 weeks and can proceed with a home birth. 12 days and counting. i'm holding out especially for september 24th, since we have tickets to see Wicked. this will be our third attempt to see the musical, and barring any early arrivals, i'm hoping this time we'll actually get to go. otherwise i'll just assume that the universe had decided that we are NOT meant to see that show.

i still don't feel quite ready for baby gavin to arrive. the small diapers and newborn clothes are all still packed away. the house has not yet been cleaned (for awhile). the birthing tub wont' be delivered till i hit 37 weeks, and i haven't yet really thought about the birth coming up. i think in my previous pregnancies, i had already made and addressed the birth announcements by now. not this time. even though benjamin just weaned two months ago, i'm having a hard time believing i'll be full-time nursing again.

i'm trying to take some steps to prepare, like doubling or tripling recipes when i cook dinner so that i can throw some meals in the freezer. i'm in the process of scheduling a deep-clean with EcoMaids in mid-September. At some point, I suppose I'll pull out the small diapers and clothes, and try to rearrange Benjamin's closet and make room for Gavin's stuff. At this point we take it week by week. This coming weekend we'll be putting stain on our deck. Mike has a lot of days off in the weeks to come, and I am focusing on getting as much of the dissertation written as is possible.

for now, i continue to grow and get a little achier each day. i don't think i see new stretch marks, but the ones i have from benjamin seem to be getting redder and possibly extending up my belly further. i really do feel quite large some days. i wonder how many shoe sizes i'll have grown after this pregnancy, compared to what i wore prior to kids?