Photo Fun

I swear I saw a few smiles when Ben was just 2 weeks, but I was told it was too early (he wasn't sleeping, and he did not appear to have gas, but I'm outnumbered.) Lately, though, he is sporting them more so I feel they can be counted. However, I have not been able to catch the good ones on camera, so here's all I've got:



Here's us having dinner as a family:


"Gee, I wish I could eat that"


working on the neck muscles


Jack has been enjoying Jaxson's new giraffe pool. It puts our basic inflatable to shame!




All these 85 degree days make it feel like summer already!

Sweaters, sweaters!

Lest I post a photo of one crafty friends' magnificent creation and not another, I want to show the newest sweater we received in the mail today from dear friend Carrie:



We are so lucky to have such talented friends (and gift givers ;)

Today Jack scared the crap out of me by falling off his stool and cracking his jaw, getting up with blood dripping out his mouth. Um, pouring out. Onto me and nursing Ben. I thought he may have popped out a tooth but luckily he just bit his lip. Yikes, blood is scary.

I'm so happy to hear that our friends' Sage and Brennan's daughter Dana came out of her 5-hour hip dysplasia surgery okay and hopefully will pass the next 10 weeks in that dreaded cast as quickly as possible. We are keeping you in our thoughts, Dana. As well as our continued hopes and warmest thoughts to the Lange family.

On a lighter note, here is Benj sleeping in his gansta pose:

Thoughts and prayers

All my thoughts are with Kelly and Kevin Lange and their new beautiful daughter Shelby, born on May 20th. Shelby will be in the NICU for some time and my heart goes out to their family. Kelly, you are constantly in our thoughts and hopes that little Shelby will be okay and will come home soon. We love you very much and are here for anything you need.

6 Years of Wedded Bliss

Today is Mike and my anniversary. Oddly, 6 years seems so short since we've been together for 10, and were good friends for two years even before that. So much has happened in those 12 years that it's hard to believe where we've started and have now landed. On our 4th anniversary we had no kids (though Jack was on his way), and now on our 6th we have two! (Mike tells me he hopes not to see the same kind of change in another 2 years). My parents came to watch Jack on Friday night so that Mike and I could go out for a nice anniversary dinner. Ben joined us and was a great dinner guest. We went to Flemings Prime Steakhouse and had an incredible meal. Mike took a photo outside in the parking lot of our ghetto vehicle amongst all the upper crust (my parents took the Prius since it had Jack's carseat, while the Geo has a second car seat base for Ben):


(In case you can't see the photo well, we have Volvo, Audi, GEO [and me with a Vanna White pose], Lexus, Lexus SUV)

Here is a photo of our happy family that same night:


Yesterday in the mail we received a gorgeous sweater knitted by my friend Sarah. Carrie, I know you wanted to see it, so here it is in all its glory:

Thank you, Sarah, we love it!

I survived my first 4 days home alone with the children. Unfortunately Jack decided once Mike went back to work that he wasn't getting enough attention, and the BABY was the reason. So he has started acting out aggressively here and there to show his frustration. Luckily he is so young that he does it in front of me for attention, so I can stop him, unlike the subversive acts of aggression I used to perform at age 4 on my baby brother when my parents weren't looking. I did hit a low point, though, when Jack ran over and tried squeezing Ben's head, pulling his hair, and yanking on his leg. I had never before yelled at him until that moment, and he was scared. I had tried firm no's, explanations, even short time-outs, and nothing seems to be working. He still is apparently too young for these types of discipline and I'm at a loss for what to do and how to protect Benjamin. It comes down to me not being able to leave them alone in the same room together for even 10 seconds, which makes it hard to, oh, go the bathroom or get something to eat. But I had known the first several months would be hard, so I'm dealing. All in all it's going fairly well, and those developmental and adjustment moments are expected. Ben is still easy, even at night, and Jack is still challenging. Lest you forget what dining with a toddler entails, here's a reminder:


Mike's last "project" he wanted to finish before returning to work last week was to renovate our sandbox. He took out all the old sand, built up the sides, fashioned a cover (complete with 4 storm-proof locks and handles), and filled it with Cancun style sand. On these great 80 degree days, Jack enjoys it:

ha

I was just giggling about something the nurse said to me yesterday, and thought I'd share for the handful of you who can relate. As I was taking Ben's diaper off for his weight check, the nurse said "Oh! Cloth diapers! (this is usually where I get the response of utter disbelief from people who've never seen how easy new cloth diapers are)" But then she continued, "those are the kind my daughter used!" Later she asked if I was breastfeeding, and I said yes. She then said, "and you have a sling to carry him in?" Now that one surprised me. No dr. I've ever met asks that. I said yes, and she answered, "Well then you need the same bumper sticker my daughter has. It says "Breastfeeding, cloth diapering, sling wearing Earth Mama." Heehee. Maybe I should rename my blog (or give it a subtitle) :)

Heavy Weight Champ

Ben's one-week weight check last week revealed that he had gained one lb. since leaving the hospital: from 7 lbs 10 oz. to 8 lbs 10.5 oz. At that point I stopped worrying about his short feedings and frequent spit ups. Today at his 2-week wellness check-up he was 9 lbs 12.5 oz. Another lb. in a week! This kid is doing well with the eating. I think Jack hit 9 1/2 lbs. somewhere around... 2 1/2? 3-months? Crazy. We did get some dismaying news at his 2-week check-up, though. Apparently he has a fractured clavical! The Dr. suspects it happened at the delivery, which I guess is not uncommon. What I can't figure out is how the on-call pediatrician, who examined 3 times in 3 days, never noticed this! Poor baby, I would've been a lot more careful picking him up had I known he was healing from a broken bone. I guess it heals fast, and the knot on his shoulder will eventually go away. I hope!

and then there were...(gasp)...3

Mike went back to work today, and I managed to survive my first day alone with both children. There were some meltdowns on the part of each boy, but it was manageable. Ben seems to have caught the cold Jack is currently sporting, so he's on the crabby side. We were able to keep Jack so pristinely healthy for so long when he was an infant, but I have a feeling Benj won't be so lucky since Jack will now be sharing those big kid germs. 2nd child syndrome, I guess.

It's so fun seeing how different Benjamin is from Jack. I can't see any personality differences yet, of course, but little things still appear. Even in the ways they handle babyhood. Benj eats short and sweet, usually 5-10 minutes, while Jack's feedings were hour long processes where I could get comfortable with a book and relax. I suppose it's good they are how they are, since I couldn't take that time now for Ben. Ben also provided me with a first experience in parenthood for me: he managed to projectile poop on me yesterday morning; something Jack never did. I've experienced projectile vomiting, but this was a first for poop. Up my entire arm, onto my exposed breast (feeding time), on the pillows, comforter, and the wall that was a good 5 ft. behind me. I was SO glad that was Mike's last day home with us, so he could watch them while I showered. I'd be fine not repeating that experience, and yet it's amazing how much patience and tolerance we have when it comes to our kids--especially when normally we would find something repulsive; with our kids, it's tolerable.

We took the boys to the farmer's market downtown on Saturday morning and had a great time. It gets bigger and busier every year, but never fails to be a good place for seeing dogs, kids, and pregnant women. We usually go for the culinary adventures that fill our tummies, but we also left this time with a bottle of local wine. The only Iowa winery whose wine I can tolerate is Jasper Winery, and we found a good $20 bottle of a reserve red to bring home for our anniversary on Sunday. My friend Bridget had sent me a cute little onesie for Ben from CA that I thought was perfect for the farmer's market:


I love this little guy!

Benjamin's Birth

Okay ladies who have asked for the labor and delivery story, I'm finally taking time to write it! Yes, it's 10:15pm, and I suppose I should be starting the nighttime game... but he's sleeping peacefully on Mike and I have some time to myself, so I figured I might as well use it. I'll sleep immediately after this post :) So, here it is.

At 5:30am last Saturday morning I got out of bed as usual to use the bathroom. When I stepped out of bed, though, I felt a slight gush. I knew instantly from having had this happen the first time around that my water had broken. My reaction this time, though, was not excitement. This time all I could think was, "No, no, no, I did not want it to happen this way again." Also unlike last time, I took my time using the bathroom, filling the cat's dishes while I was in there, scooping the litter box, etc. About 20 minutes later I woke Mike up to let him know what happened and that I was going to call the midwife to find out how long I could wait for contractions to start before going in. I had it in my mind that at one of my first appts., I had asked this very question, and was told I had the good part of a day before they'd consider inducing. So imagine my dismay when I called and asked and the midwife told me I had to be into the hospital in 1-2 hrs. Grr. To make matters more complicated, Methodist hospital was full. FULL. So I had to check into the smaller, older, less desirable hospital, Lutheran (both Iowa Health Systems hospitals, so they partner). Not only that, but the midwife on call was the PRN woman who I had (thankfully) met just once that afternon before. She had never been to Lutheran and had no idea where the maternity ward even was. I was crying when I hung up the phone. But I tried to keep my attitude bright as we waited for my parents to arrive, changing the sheets on the bed for my mom, throwing last minutes things into the hospital bag, feeding Jack breakfast, and so on. No contractions. Double grr. We arrived at Lutheran hospital and you could hear a pin drop in there, it was so empty. We were probably the only birthers on the floor, and had what looked like the only nurse on duty. It was quiet, though, so you can't beat that. I wanted to see my midwife to find out how long I could put off induction, but she had 3 other birthing women at Methodist and couldn't leave. So I stayed put for 2 hours, on the electronic fetal monitoring, waiting. Finally, the midwife called and said a patient was checking out at Methodist, and I could transfer. So they discharged me, and I got to change back out of the hospital gown and head back to the car, normal as before. It was a tad strange. When we arrived at Methodist, I checked in as was told to and asked for the room they were holding for me, and was then told that in the 15 minutes it took to drive from one hospital to the next, a woman arrived already dilated to 9 centimeters so they gave her my room (the nurse delivered the baby there shortly after; no time for the dr. to arrive). So off to a triage room I went (and stayed for what ended up being 2 and a half hours). Once more I donned the hospital gown and electronic fetal monitoring, and once more I wished my midwife would show up. Finally, finally she did. Her other women had delivered and she was all mine. While I would have liked to have one of the regular midwives whom I already knew, this woman was quite sweet. She is in her 60s with grandchildren, and lives 3 hrs. away. I worried she was a little too sweet, and wondered how she would advocate for the things I wanted when the time came. I soon discovered, however, that she was quite capable. I told her that all I was having were mild braxton hicks contractions, and was worried about induction. She stopped the nurse from putting in the IV (in lieu of an upcoming dose of pitocin), and asked if I wanted to try nipple stimulation as the old fashioned way of inducing labor. While I thought this sounded a bit out of character for me, I had read about it and knew it could work, and was willing to try ANYTHING to avoid induction. So I was handed warm washclothes and was told to do "nipple rolls" for 10 minutes on each breast, back and forth for about an hr. What OB would suggest that? I could tell the nurse was slightly weirded out. But lo and behold, it WORKED. Soon I was feeling (and Mike was seeing on the monitor) contractions that eventually regularized into every 7 minutes. They got strong enough even that I had to breathe through them. I was worried, though, about when I would have to stop, not knowing if they too would stop and back to the pitocin we'd go. At one point they came to every 3 minutes and that was when I was told a room had opened up and I could move. Off we go down the hallway, and into our corner suite (!), just 4 doors down from where I delivered Jack (the other corner suite). The contractions continued and I was so excited. After I was in the new room for about a half hour, though, they began to slow down and I started to freak. The midwife told me she'd give me one more hour of nipple stimulation before they had to induce (she was dragging it out as long as possible for my sake; at this point--7 hrs since my water had broken-- all OBs and many midwifes would have already induced). She walked out of the room and I was ready for the warm wash clothes again, when the contractions came back. And this time they kept getting stronger. Must have been the pressure of being under the gun ;) All I really wanted to do was walk around, try the birthing ball, change positions, as I had planned on doing this birth. But I was still on the EFM because "the baby's heartrate was staying at a steady 150" and they wanted to see a little more reaction to the contractions--accelerations every once in awhile. So in other words, he was too normal and chill--they wanted to see some stress. And for THAT reason, I stayed on the monitor. Grr, again. I already couldn't do the laboring tub because my water had broken, and here I wasn't yet even able to get of bed as planned, either. Finally, finally, they allowed me to unplug the monitor and get of bed. Problem was that this happened just as the more major contractions hit. I got of bed and headed to the bathroom only to discover I couldn't stand unsupported during the contractions. Leaning against the sink was my lifeline a few times. The birthing ball didn't provide the support I needed, and I'd end up throwing myself onto the couch, on my knees, leaning onto the back of the couch for support when contractions would hit. This was only about 15 min. after being let out of bed, and about 2 hrs. after the contractions began when I started the nipple stimulation. The nurse quickly realized I was progressing fast, and called thd midwife back in. ***Quick interjection: I had been told, and was really looking forward to, that having a midwife meant she would be there the whole labor. This wasn't entirely true. Obviously having such a busy birthing weekend and having other patients in labor is one thing, but even when I was in this early laboring phase, she left the room. Not sure why. I guess it's fine since Mike and I could just do our thing; she came back when things got heavy, which I suppose is the point. Still, it was a surprise.*** They checked me and I was at 7 centimeters. The midwife warned me that I would probably dilate fast since it was my 2nd baby, but the pushing may be a more drawn out endeavor, and I should prep for that. A few minutes later the contractions got unbelievable and I started losing it. I told the midwife that I must be in transition, and I started asking (in a slighly irritable way, you can imagine) Mike to press as hard as he could on my back during each contraction. Unfortunately each time I'd have to tell him to move his hands down/up/to the side/ harder, etc. and by the time he'd get it right, it was fading away. I was checked again and was still at a 7. This was my lowest moment. I couldn't use breathing anymore to get through the pains, and even repeating the mantras I had prepared for myself weren't working (i.e., "this may hurt but it's not harming me," "relax and let the baby come," etc.). The idea that it would get worse before it got better (since transition is technically from 8-10 centimeters) was horrifying and I didn't know how to hold it together. So at this low point is when my midwife offered a shot of fentanyl to "take the edge off the peak of each contraction." This must be the reason some woman suggest telling all attending health professionals to not offer drugs during a labor if you want to go naturally, since you are more apt to accept them against your earlier wishes at the height of the moment. When she made this offer, it was softly whispered in my ear, like I was being lured. I was firmly commited to a natural birth, not just without epidural but without any drugs. I didn't want to risk introducing any drugs into the baby's system, and I had done enough reading to know that birth is a natural process, not a medical condition. I knew millions of women have babies naturally and drugs simply aren't needed in most cases. I was surprised the midwife was the one to offer it, thinking that was contrary to her purpose. So feeling like it was the little devil on my shoulder, luring me from the angel I was trying to follow, I just said "I'll keep it in mind." Well, one more contraction and I said, "okay, let's try it." Like I said, lowest point. I felt the disappointment in myself for deciding on something I had wanted to avoid, but the pain was speaking louder at this point. The nurse warned me that I'd have to go back on the EFM and I just didn't care. So I got the shot and I think it did "take the edge off," as she said. It most certainly didn't remove it, though! Just 3 contractions after getting the fetanyl, I was completely dilated and ready to push. So I will always have to wonder if I could've held off on the drug and got through 3 more contractions, or if the drug relaxed me enough to help dilate faster. Guess I'll never know. I pushed while lying on my side for about 4 contractions, then had to flip to my back for the delivery. Switching positions--especially from a comfortable one to an uncomfortable one-- as a baby's head is ready to leave your body is NOT fun. I don't think I pushed more than a total of 6 or 7 times. It was quick. I believe Mike called his mom just before 3pm and said "We are ready to push!" (so she would know to get on the road and head to Des Moines), and Benj was born at 3:23. In hindsight, I overdid the pushing. I had read enough to know that listening to your body tell you when to push works better than listening to the medical personnel yell "Push!", and I didn't want to tear if I could go slowly. But at about the 3rd push on my back, all 4 (2 nurses, Mike, and midwife) were telling me he was almost there and I should just keep going; so I did--I pushed much harder and longer than I would've had I been following my body's instinct and the contractions. He was indeed born on that push, but I did tear. I didn't feel it, but it happened. Not a big one, and an easy one to repair, though (a midline tear--for those of you mommas who know the lingo). As soon as he was born, they whisked him off to the warming table to do the Apgars and clean him up. I had wanted him placed directly on my chest, though I had never thought to voice that to this new midwife who didn't know me. I wasn't as disappointed as I thought I would be, though, as they were pretty quick about it. I was amazed at how relaxed I was about the whole thing--it was sort of a relief when he was born, and I was savoring the fact that labor was over enough that I wasn't freaking out about not holding him right away. Also, delivering the placenta and getting stiched up took all of my attention. They gave me a shot of pitocin in my leg to get the placenta moving. Now, HUH? I had never read about this practice and wasn't expecting it. No one asked if it was okay, they just did it. Here I had avoided pit like the plague, and now I was getting a dose of it for the placenta? Don't placentas come out at about 10 min. post delivery on their own? I will be asking about this at my 6-week postpartum. Apparently this placenta was on the larger side, and it took awhile to deliver. I had to push and breathe through it, holding Mike's hand, it was painful enough. But finally I got to hold little Benj and feed him, and he breastfed that first time for about an hour. It was so, so nice. Also nice to have feeling in my legs since there was no epidural, and I could jump out of bed and run to the bathroom by myself when needed :) My midwife asked sweetly at the end of the birth, "did you get birth you wanted?" Having a healthy baby boy was all I really wanted, so I'd have to say yes. In the strictest sense of the labor, I'm very very happy to have avoided induction and truly believe that I would not have been able to do so if I had not had a midwife. For that I'll be forever greatful. The one downer is that I can't tell myself I had a truly natural birth, as desired. While my nurse friends tell me that Fetanyl is fast disappearing and probably only provided pain relief for 10-15 minutes, I still know it was in my system for up to an hour, and it was still a drug. I think this is another example of how being in a hospital for birth makes certain interventions so readily available, thus making a woman much more likely to have them. But I do know I made the decision I felt I needed to at the time, and I have to be at ease with that. All in all I am so happy with the labor I had. I feel that even though there were some unexpected twists, I should've learned from the last birth that it is never how you plan it! I had been thinking that for my 3rd birth in the future, I'd like to do a home birth and rent a birthing tub. But if my body insists on continuing to break the membranes as a start to labor, I'd never be able to do a water birth. Bummer. Guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it ;) Anyway, there's the story. And from it all I got the most beautiful little Benjamin ever.

Brothers

Every parent will tell you that subsequent children always get the shaft in terms of less photos being taken of them (at least of them alone, without siblings), less work on their baby books, fewer new toys or clothes...etc. I am trying hard to give Benj his time in the sun, but I do understand how hard it is when your older child wants and needs to be a part of everything as before. I caught some cute photos of the two of them together today, and wanted to share:





Happy Heiny's should pay me for this...


Even though he's not the sole focus of our attention now, Jack still enjoys the everyday moments of life's greatest joys: ice cream.

Our Family of Four

Birth story coming soon, I promise. For now, the (short) update is that we are all doing well. I'm amazed at how well Jack is ajusting so far, and at how little sleep-deprived I feel. Benj eats frequently, in short bursts. So he eats more often, but he's always with me so it doesn't feel like a big deal. Jack used to eat for 45 minutes, so this is new!

Benj


Brotherly love


Cheese!




Mommy and her boys (Ben hiding in wrap)